A. E. Neuman
c/o Mad Magazine
l15 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 11102
Spouse: Are you kidding?
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned….
couldn’t concentrate
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it,
so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it …
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef – figured it would add a little spice too my life
but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it,
I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found
I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory;
I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I because a professional fisherman, but discovered that
I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian
until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks,
but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!